Ygfi's Guide to Writing
by Ygfi
Summary: A story about a "too the point" guide on common mistakes people make when writing.


One day, while at home, Ygfi was reading fanfication. But Ygfi couldn't enjoy himself as there were too many writers making fools of themselves by writing very bad stories. This prompted Ygfi to write a story of his own. That night, Ygfi worked very, very hard, though the hours of the night, until what was technically morning. When he was done, it was nearly 3 am but it was other it. "Finally" he though, clearly about to die, "I'll not have to tell all these foolish people what to do, they can just read my story." So Ygfi published it that night.

Later on, in the morning, once Ygfi had gone for his morning pee, he discovered some things that needed fixing. So like a good little boy, he set out once again, this time, to fix his work. His work went a little something like this:

Ygfi's Guide on how to not be a Dummkopf writer

I may be IMed at [ygfi live. com] for more explanation.

Summaries  
-the things that start it all

Anything along these lines should never appear. "This summary sucks" – obviously

**Keep it relevant**, if it's not giving an idea of what the story is about; keep it to your intro.

**Put tags in**, these things exist for a reason, they help classify what the story is about. Make sure if the story is AU, mark it so, if it's got an original character, mark it OC, Self inserts will be getting yelled at for not being marked as such.

A quote, maybe two can be helpful but they're only to be used as support, **not **as the whole summary.

**Summarise the story**, while it seems obvious to some, if you're reading this you might have overlooked it. It's not hard; just give a general description of what the story is about. "This is about a girl named Abby who moves from California to Alabama who moves into a house that's haunted." This is a basic summary, work from here!

Introductions  
-where you get to make an ass of yourself

**Give a quick rundown** on the happenings relative to the story. If you'll be updating rarely, put it here, if it's your first story, put it here, if you don't want "flames" put it here.

**Don't get carried away!** We don't care what you had for lunch (unless it was good and you're going to tell us how to make it). Keep it brief, a wall of text before the story can make you look boring.

**Separate it properly.** I don't care what you do (using the ruler would be nice) as long as I can tell where the story is going to actually start. If I can't tell where it starts and it's not 3am, you've failed.

**Keep profile info in your profile**. You don't like cheese? Don't say it here. That goes in your profile.

The little thing you put at the bottom once you've finished the chapter

**Don't have one!** These things should be put into your introduction. I tend to not make a deal about these because I can't be bothered, everyone has already seemed to think they're fine. "Don't think your path is the right one just because it is well worn"

If you insist on having one of these things; **separate it properly**, like I said before. Scroll up and re read it if you must.

Note that footnotes go here.

The story  
-you know, the thing, right?

**Spelling is essential**. Use a spell check, Microsoft word has one; I'm sure other things have it too.

**No Short-hand**. Simple, if it's not a proper word, don't use it. I'll only let Americans get away with skipping out the u in half the words because they're… American.

**Punctuate your $#17.** It's not hard, I'm doing it. If you can't be bothered 'cause it's too hard, quit writing now.

**Grammar should be correct.** If you're not from an English speaking background, get some help. If you're a wee little child who has yet to learn proper English, get help. There are people like teachers and friends for a reason.

**Bracket chat breaks immersion**. There is nothing more distracting from a story than it being interrupted by the writer so that they can drawl on about something irrelevant (or some times relevant). This stuff, if needed, should be done in footnotes.

**Footnotes should be discreet**.* They are traditionally done with a number in superscript (some times in square brackets) in the text with the note at the bottom. This may not be available in al formats so you can just put a number in parenthesis (usually square brackets). If it's the only one in the chapter or you don't really need them numbered (they're in appearing order or something) just use an asterisk please. [Things like definitions for uncommon words are what these should be used for. I might have done it a few times (in this paragraph too) but this is a guide not a story]

**New speaker? New line!** This is simple! If you've got two different people talking in the same line, go home or go to school.

**Say who's talking**. If you've got people having a conversation, make sure we know whose talking. A simple "said Fred" will do (do be more creative). If you want to be lazy and not have anything (while obeying the rules), you can only do so when the speaking order has already been established and it's only between two people. The new line will indicate a reply if someone has just said something but this only works if we know that there's only one person who could have replied.

_**Italic thoughts?**_ While it seems like a good idea, it's not really. **Use quotation marks**, these things are not just for speech, (though some stupid teachers call them speech marks). I'll show you how it works ["oh no, not this again" though Ygfi, with an unimpressed look clearly upon his face] I do realise that some times it can be a useful tool in instantly distinguishing that they're thoughts, so if you really want to use italics, you can have them in addition too the quotation marks. This way or that the quotation marks need to be there.

**Do not write in capital letters!** We have exclamation marks and bold/underlined font for this job. Single words or maybe a pair will be let off on the occasion but an entire sentence will ruin the story. (This applies to bold and underlined too.) Capital letters have their place, and it's not for whole words. (Acronyms are not words, just ask scrabble)

**Proof read before you post**, or at least be prepared to edit out mistakes that others find in your work. There's no reason to not give it a once over (unless you've bribed me (cake will some times do)).

1st person is I (that's me). 2nd person is you (crazy person talking to self). 3rd person is someone else (that other guy).

**Name your chapters.** I don't see why you'd not do this, "chapter 14" doesn't really help much, and we already know what chapter it is. If you really want to mark it use roman numerals or something. "14. Chapter 14" just looks silly. The best system for the start of a chapter is "XIV some things happen", take a line then start. Generally, no redundancy is a good thing.

* * *

*this is a footnote, useful stuff goes here.

Ygfi concluded his work, all was joyous!


End file.
